Detention with Seto Kaiba
by Mamberz987
Summary: A random one shot fic from the world of SetoJoeyness. They've got detention and are in need of something to entertain themselves.


Another one shot for you all. Yes, I have not written anything in nearly three months. Yes, I have been neglecting One Long Week. Yes, I do plan on eventually finishing it. I wrote half of the next chapter, and then kind of lost interest in the chapter, so I'm thinking of a new plot line. Anyways, enjoy this here!

Warnings: This is shounen-ai. Meaning Joey and Kaiba getting together! Yay!

Enjoy.

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_Sigh._

Detention was so **boring**.

He had much better things to do with his time than just sit here and stare at a corner (and occasionally the blackboard. Or the clock.). He would much rather sit here and stare at a certain brunette currently sitting behind him and looking rather hot.

And it was all Kaiba's fault that he was here to begin with, really.

He couldn't help it that he always lost his temper when he was around the pompous CEO. And he knew Kaiba was very much aware of that fact.

So when the math teacher woke Joey up from his very nice nap during class to answer a question he never even heard (he had answered 0.2. The answer was apparently infinity. He didn't see that big of a difference, in his opinion.), and then when Kaiba made a comment on letting sleeping dogs lie, he thought he was completely justified in executing a perfect bodily leap across the room and successfully tackling the blue-eyed jerk into the floor.

That had been rather fun. He would like math more if there was more tackling involved. Maybe they could calculate what fraction of the class he could bowl over in one go.

_Sigh._

The boredom was beginning to have a serious effect on his brain. He would have preferred writing 'I will not viciously attack the sole benefactor of this school into the floor of my torturously boring mathematics class' a million times than staring at the blank space of white wall in front of him. At least Kaiba could stare at the sexy strands of blonde hair sprouting from Joey's skull. There weren't even any posters with corny teacher-ish quotes on them for said blonde to stare at in disgust.

Well, he could always take comfort in the fact that Kaiba was probably sporting a hideous black eye from his very powerful man-tackle. Maybe he should become a ninja. He heard man-tackling was a necessary skill in the ninja profession.

Maybe Tristan was right. Maybe there really _was_ something wrong with his brain. Of course, it would be the fault of the detention teacher. Just sitting here was cruel and unusual punishment. It had to be against the law. Maybe Kaiba would let him borrow one of his cool lawyers and sue the school for millions! Of course, it would all be Kaiba's money to begin with anyway.

_Sigh._

Talk about bor-ing.

At that moment, Joey's back was viscously stabbed with what could only be an abnormally sharp pencil. Joey took a moment to wonder why he could never get his own pencils that sharp. Then took another moment to hope he didn't get lead poisoning from the point puncturing his lung or something else vital.

"Will you stop with your sighing?" an angry voice hissed from behind. "You are driving me insane."

Joey caught himself smiling like an idiot at the sound of Kaiba's voice, and nearly drooled on himself but caught it just in time. If only that stupid, evil detention teacher would leave, he might bug Kaiba into talking to him to give him something to do.

As if having scary mind-reading powers (which Joey wouldn't doubt for a second; all of the teachers here had _something_ wrong with them.) the teacher got up and left, announcing he would be back in a while.

Joey watched him leave, bouncing up and down in his seat in anticipation. He looked very much like a five year old does on Christmas Eve, awaiting Santa's arrival with tangible impatience and a net in hand to prove that he did indeed exist. Not that he ever did that when he was five. Or every year after that.

As soon as the door slid shut, Joey spun around in his seat quicker than Kaiba's eyes could register. He looked at the blonde, who was grinning like a goof, and raised an eyebrow while trying to send mental 'Leave me the heck alone-I've had enough of your antics for one day-and if you fail to oblige I will kill you slowly and painfully' vibes across the desk and into Joey's thick skull.

Joey chose to interpret this as 'Please talk to me for I can not stand the silence and am dying to hear your lovely voice once more.' Joey was only too happy to oblige.

"So, you wanna play a game?" Joey chirped happily.

A scowl marred the otherwise flawless face, which really was no different than how he usually looked. Not that Joey minded. The CEO could manage to be sinfully gorgeous whether he was making horrific death threats at the blonde or making childish monkey faces. Not that he would know from personal experience about the latter. But he had a very creative imagination. He nearly giggled at the mental picture.

Kaiba rubbed at his temples, realizing that Joey was unable to interpret that 'Kaiba scowling' 'shut the hell up.' "No, Wheeler, I do not want to play a game with you. I want to finish my time in this blasted hellhole, which I still fail to see why_ I_ received detention for _your_ stupidity."

Joey was about to point out that it was entirely Kaiba's fault, and that he had started it, but Kaiba looked like he was about to burst fire from his eyes and burn Joey to a crispy, agonizing death until not even his dental records would identify him (which, again, Joey wouldn't doubt. Kaiba was scary like that) so he kept his mouth clamped shut. He even slapped his hand over his mouth, in case it decided to be a wise guy and talk on its own accord.

Kaiba growled to himself. Why did he continue to put up with this? "What game did you have in mind?"

Joey's face brightened instantly, as if someone shined a 50 million watt flashlight onto his face. Kaiba vaguely wished he had some sunglasses.

Joey thought about it for a moment. "Well, uh…we could play…um…"

"You didn't even have a game in mind, did you?" Kaiba allowed a great deal of annoyance to flow through his voice. Joey chose to ignore the tone, and pretend it was one of loving adoration.

"How about I ask you questions that you have to answer truthfully. Only you have to avoid saying yes. Sound easy enough?"

Kaiba stared blankly at Joey. And stared some more. And when Joey thought he was done staring, he just continued to stare. "That's the most pointless thing I have ever heard of."

Joey gave another blinding grin. "Yeah, but that's what makes it fun." Kaiba didn't protest, but growled again. Which Joey decided to be a sign for him to continue.

He put his finger to his chin in deep thought, thinking of how to trap Kaiba in an incredibly witty manner and earn the respect he finally deserved.

"Are you smart?" he asked, knowing that Kaiba was too prideful to say otherwise.

Kaiba smirked. "Nope." Joey's jaw dropped, not expecting Kaiba to be so complacent. He expected an arrogant repl- "I'm ingenious." Yep, there it was. The arrogance was shining through after all. He would have to think of something better.

"Are you smarter than me?" Ha, beat that one you jerk! Admit that my brains outrank yours any day!

"No, because that would require you to have the tiniest sliver of intelligence of any form. Which you don't." Kaiba yawned and looked like he was close to taking a nap. How rude. This game wasn't that boring. It was quite fun.

Joey thought about that for a moment. Okay, so this was beyond lame, but it was better than staring at a booger stuck to the wall in front of his desk for hours on end. He would show Kaiba that this game could be tricky.

"Is your name Seto?" he asked with a cocky smirk, which looked a bit unnatural on him.

Seto gave a cocky smirk, which looked more than a bit sexy on him, before replying, "No—it's Master Kaiba to you."

Joey felt his cheeks flush red at that. He tried to cover it with an embarrassed cough. He would just have to teach him a lesson.

He shyly looked up at Kaiba with the largest pair of doe eyes that had ever been seen in all of the history of mankind. It had to have been a world record. He made a mental note to write to the guiness book. But that could wait.

Kaiba looked apprehensively at the trying-to-look-but-failing-horribly innocent face before him, while his stomach gave a nervous lurch.

"Seto," Joey purred sweetly, "do you think I'm sexy?"

The cerulean eyes that Joey had spent innumerable hours staring at widened ever so slightly in surprise, but quickly transformed back into their apathetic stare. Kaiba folded his arms. "Most certainly not."

What! That was cheating! He was supposed to tell the truth, the lying jerk. Oh, he was _so_ disqualified for this. Joey jumped up in offended indignation. He pointed a condescending finger at the CEO, who was beginning to look at Joey like one might look at a headless zombie squirrel running around with a pair of tweezers. Like one doesn't know what to do with the sight they have just been subjected to.

Joey then proceeded to give a twenty-three minute and seventeen second lecture on the virtues of realizing the sexiness of Joey's being, and being honest about it, because it was simply a world-wide fact, when his ear was grabbed in mid-rant.

"DETENTION, MR. WHEELER!" a raspy voice shouted into the ear that was currently being held in the evil vice-grasp of inevitable doom and destruction. Joey managed to wiggle his way out of it, and laugh sheepishly at the detention teacher. Before he could begin lecturing Joey on the virtues of sitting like a good child in detention, and being quiet while at it, because that's how detention was supposed to be done, Kaiba swiftly stood up in front of Joey, inches from his face.

"I wasn't lying. I don't think you're sexy. You're too adorable for that," Seto murmured into Joey's ear, before cupping his jaw in one hand and lacing the other into his blonde hair, then proceeding to kiss the living daylights out of said blonde.

Until they were rudely interrupted by said detention teacher turning his vice-grip onto the older teen, yelling a lecture on the virtues of romance being kept out of the schools, and being prudent while at it because kissing an evil disease. Kaiba took a moment to think to himself that that would explain why this teacher was always uptight. He obviously had some sort of kissing-phobia. Weird.

As said strange teacher began to assign detentions for the rest of the month for PDA, a smiling Joey glanced up at Kaiba, who wasn't smiling, but wasn't scowling either. Which was the closest he would probably get.

"We're still on for Friday night?" Joey asked, completely tuning out the ranting teacher beside him.

Kaiba nodded in return. "Of course. And Mokuba asked me to tell you if you insist on leaving your shirts at the mansion, you might as well move in."

Joey blushed, with a slight grin. "I might just have to take you up on that offer."

The brunette turned to leave the room, waiting just long enough for Joey to slip his hand into Kaiba's. Then they were gone.

The detention teacher rambled on for another five minutes before realizing the room was empty. He shrugged. Young kids in love, what could you do with them?

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Okay, okay, so that was the lamest ending in the world. But I didn't know what else to do. Oh well. Please, review and tell me what you think of it. Thanks, and love to all! 


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